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Is it self-care or self-sabotage?

Is eating a piece of pastry or having a glass of wine self-care or self-sabotage? It depends on the underlying need or desire. Is it the need to self-soothe, comfort or self-medicate? Or is it the desire to celebrate life and enhance it? So, basically there are two fundamental questions: “Is this treat (or meal) a life-enhancing activity, or is it a behavior, which creates a negative spiral and enforces old negative patterns, resulting in guilt and shame?” Many of you know that I don’t believe in “All or Nothing”, “Black and White”, “Good and Bad” thinking. Diets are obviously designed to create a split: You are either “good” by resisting treats and so-called comfort foods, or you are “bad”

The importance of having a "tribe"

Last night in group we discussed the importance of having a “tribe”, a strong circle of friends in our life who truly know and support us. The longing for (or lack of) strong and meaningful connections may have been the reason for emotional eating in the past. It is crucial to acknowledge when our heart is in need of something that may be out of our reach at the moment. How would we soothe a small child? How would we provide comfort and reassurance? We can always fall back on Dr. Kristin Neff’s “self-compassion break”. Also, we can create what we are longing for by cooking a wonderful meal and inviting people over to our house. Creating community is part of self-care and can greatly enhance


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